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An open letter to Red Shirt

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Dr. Mr. Shirt, I'm addressing this letter to you, Mr. Shirt -- may I call you Red? -- in the hope you'll share its message with your friends. Folks like French Fries. Red Devil. Mobushwacker. Dr. Mustache. Or, as I like to refer to you, the League of Extraordinarily Ignorant Commenters. Sorry, but with nom de plumes like those, you're surely used to a little teasing. I mean, those names aren't on your driver's licenses are they? Or, lacking those, your non-driver-stamped state...

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